He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize