I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
