I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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