All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
