I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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