the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
