drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize