I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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