smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
