doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
