I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
