I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
