I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
