My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
