I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
