shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
