I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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