bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
