Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
