Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
