I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
