i think my mom watched the whole time
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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