? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
