You're completely useless in the revolution.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I will be naked everywhere
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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