it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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