there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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