this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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