Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
