Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize