Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
