She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Two words: blizzard sex
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize