yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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