you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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