Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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