listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
