you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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