so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I love having hate sex.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
