a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize