i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
