he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
