I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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