when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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