dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
