I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize