Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
