im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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