that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
