We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
