I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
