I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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