We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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