I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
pray to the hookup gods
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
