wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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