I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
