Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

Congratulations on your moose knuckle.

(614): View more from Ohio

Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.

Fav 7 3112 1068
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(480): View more from Arizona

Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it

Fav 16 916 4442
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(973): View more from New Jersey

You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?

Fav 3 1689 835
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(914): View more from New York

Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.

Fav 5 1409 725
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(785): View more from Kansas

This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating

Fav 11 649 986
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(406): View more from Montana

Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.

Fav 0 554 762
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(703): View more from Virginia

Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.

Fav 3 859 538
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(336): View more from North Carolina

He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.

Fav 1 64 39
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(931): View more from Tennessee

OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!

(931): View more from Tennessee

Wow.

Fav 0 8 60
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