my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
