Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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