You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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