i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
