Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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