y did u give ur computer a hand job?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
