My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I want her autograph on my taint
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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