think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
