I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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