So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
worst night to have a conscience
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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