I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
