i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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